


The Last Things Kylo Wanted...

by Lisalicious



Series: Modern Day AUs [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Cat BB-8, Hux is rightfully angry, Kylo doesn't want to face his past, M/M, Mentioned Past Mind Control, Poe is just Poe, Rated for eventual smut, Road Trip Breakdown, Snoke's an evil dick but we knew this..., mentioned Snoke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 20:03:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/pseuds/Lisalicious
Summary: ...might be the best things for him.Kylo and Hux are road tripping to Phasma's wedding in Hux's old fixer-upper Camaro. Hux's phone GPS told him to take a shortcut to save miles and time. Kylo wants to stay on the freeway, but Hux doesn't listen. When the car breaks down 15 miles from the nearest town, and the phone service cuts out, the boys are certain they'll either have to walk or sleep out in the middle of nowhere.It turns out they're stuck on the road that passes through Kylo's home town, and they haven't been stranded very long when they are rescued by none other than Kylo's ex, Poe Dameron.





	1. Chapter 1

“I told you we should stick to the freeway, Hux.” Kylo whined as they pushed his boyfriend’s beloved car to the side of the deserted county road.

“And if we were on the freeway we’d still be stuck in the middle of nowhere, broken down. Anyways, Google Maps said this way would save us miles and close to an hour off our travel time.” Hux huffed his response. Then he rushed around to the front of the car, and opened the hood.

Kylo had begged his boyfriend to fly out to their friend, Phasma’s wedding, but Hux had said, “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if we took a road trip in my Camero instead?” And once the words were out of his mouth, there was no convincing him that they were buying plane tickets to go. What was worse was he couldn’t convince Hux that they should take his 2015 Mercedes instead of the 1972 Camero that hadn’t been well cared for before he owned it.

Kylo had also begged not to take the ‘shortcut’ that Hux’s phone insisted they take. He honestly wouldn’t have minded other shortcuts, but this one…this one made him beyond nervous. If he was lucky, it would only mean driving though the town he’d been avoiding for years. But then Hux’s car began to sputter and die. Kylo was never that lucky when it came to his home town.

Part of him wanted to laugh at Hux as he stared at his car’s engine. The aristocratic redhead also fancied himself a grease monkey, so he purchased an old Camaro in desperate need of repairs. And Hux tried to do them all himself, but the man was in way over his head as he’d never actually used a wrench before in his life. So he brought the car in to multiple garages until he found one that would allow him to “help” (basically watch over the mechanic’s shoulders as they did all the work.) Hux stared at the engine, and Kylo knew he was willing the problem to become immediately apparent and fixable.

Five minutes passed before Hux huffed, and pulled out his phone.

“DAMN IT!” He seethed. “Why is it the GPS on my phone still works out here, but I have no actual phone signal to make damned call? Where in bloody hell are we anyways?”

“Exactly where your stupid GPS meant for us to be.” Kylo replied bitterly. “In the middle of fucking nowhere. If we had stuck to the freeway we would be able to wave down a passing car. Here? We probably won’t see another vehicle for hours.”

“Well…what if one of us heads off for the nearest town?”

Kylo scowled at the prospect. He had no desire to march into his home town, demanding help…not with his past with the people there.

Instead of mentioning why he didn’t want to even go there, he decided to argue about the distance.

“It’s 15 miles that way. Feel free to start walking. You should be able to make it before the sun sets.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Hux hissed. He looked back into the engine for a few minutes before he straightened up. “Wait…how do you…know how far the town is? You refused to even look at the GPS when I took the exit. You…you know where we are, don’t you?”

“I…”

“Kylo?”

Before Kylo could answer they heard it.

A vehicle in the distance.

“Praise the maker!” Hux exclaimed as he turned from his car. It was an exclamation he’d picked up from Kylo. He missed the fact that Kylo looked rather apprehensive. He walked out almost to the middle of the road and started waving like crazy even though the car was still a long ways off. Kylo would have found it comical if he wasn’t dreading seeing who may be coming to their rescue.

“Hux…we don’t even know who that might be. Could be some psycho who will bring us to his house, and butcher us.”

“Don’t be absurd, Kylo. And you didn’t answer me. You know where we are.”

Kylo recognized the vehicle approaching them… _SHIT!_ A pick-up he had spent hours in as a teenager, and it was starting to slow down. The saving grace was that Kylo knew that man who owned the pick-up would be kind, gracious even, helpful, and show polite interest in his companion. Maybe even tell him how his son was doing. After all, Kylo dated Kes Dameron’s son for the better part of 6 years. Kylo relaxed slightly.

For about 10 seconds.

Then the truck pulled to a stop, and the driver jumped out.

It wasn’t Kes.  It was his son, Poe.

_OH FUCK!!_

Kylo turned away, hand over his mouth, trying his hardest not to start swearing. Poe was probably forth on the list of people he didn’t want to run into from his home town. (The first three were members of his family: mom, uncle, and cousin) But there he was, striding towards them. He started praying to whatever he could that the car would be easily fixable, and that this encounter with Poe would be over as quickly as possible.

“Thank goodness you stopped.” Hux declared. “When my other half informed me that the nearest town is a full 15 miles away I was certain we’d be sleeping out on this God forsaken road.”

Poe chuckled. “Well, it’s lucky I came along then. What seems to be the problem? She’s a beautiful…” Kylo knew that Poe saw him when he stopped talking, maybe wasn’t sure it was really him, but had a hunch at least. Kylo turned back to them, and Poe gasped. “Hey, Ben!”

Hux looked between the 2 men, confused for a second.

“His name-“

“Hey, Poe.” Kylo interrupted, his face going 5 different shades of red.

“Poe?” Hux was perplexed for all of 2 seconds before as he took in the fact that his lover’s face was bright red, and he seemed to know this stranger…as well as where the nearest town was… “Wait! Poe _Dameron_!? As in your ex-boyfriend, Poe Dameron?”

“Um…yes?”

“So…the reason you know how far the nearest point of civilization is?”

“Is because I grew up there.”

Hux face palmed for a minute. Then he turned back to Poe and offered a hand to shake.

“Poe, I am Hux, Kylo…er, Ben’s significant other.”

“It’s nice to meet you, just Hux? And yeah, I know he goes by Kylo. He started that right after he left.”

Neither Hux nor Kylo missed how sad Poe sounded. Kylo glanced at the shorter man, but he had turned to peer into the engine. He missed that the glance was returned by Poe moments later. Hux missed nothing.

“Well, I can get her up and running again, but she’ll probably only make it to town. She needs a new ignition coil and a fuel pump, but I know they happen to have both of those at the garage. I’ll…I’ll put it in for you, might need to get the others to help, if you don’t mind. Either way, we’ll get your car up and running by tonight.”

“Of course! That would be wonderful! Right, Kylo?” Hux enthused.

“No, yeah, that’s fine. Perfect.” Kylo couldn’t hide the unease he was feeling. This day was not going to go well for him.

***

It didn’t take Poe long to get the car running again. Hux wasn’t sure what magical car voodoo the man used on his precious Camero, but she was running and she made it to town. Kylo didn’t say much of anything. He tried to watch both Poe working on the car, and Hux watching the other work intently.

They followed Poe to Skywalker’s Garage, and pulled in just in time for the car to sputter and die again. Hux got out of the car, popping the hood as quickly as possible while Kylo didn’t know what to do with himself. Poe offered to have them wait in the apartment above the garage, but the last he knew Rey lived upstairs. Poe explained that Rey had moved in with her boyfriend on the other side of town, and that he had taken up the residence for a while. Kylo gladly took the excuse to remove himself from his ex’s presence, but Hux stayed back.

“I would love to stay and help.”  He offered to the shorter man who was gathering the materials he would need to get started.

Poe looked up at the ginger man, and smiled.

“Thanks for the offer, but this is going to be a bit…more than what a novice can handle. At least if you want to get out of here today. If you were staying for Leia’s party I’d be more than happy to show you how it’s done.”

“Kylo’s mother is having a party this weekend?”

“Yeah…It’s part of Yavin’s Founders Day celebration, and to celebrate the Alderaan mine disaster survivors. I get why he stays away…half the town still blames him for what happened. But when I saw that it was him, with you, I thought maybe…”

“I see. If I had known…well, no, there’s nothing I could have done to reschedule Phasma’s wedding.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“I’m sure it is entirely a big deal.”

“Ben hasn’t  shown up for one yet.”

“What about Kylo?”

Poe snorted at him.

“No, not him either.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why hasn’t Kylo ever come home for his mother’s party?”

Poe just started at him from the lift he was about to engage to raise the car a few feet. He looked like he considered telling Hux.

“I think your boyfriend should be the one to tell you about the problems he has with his family. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t if you’re actually living together.”

Hux scowled and glared at Poe in return.

“Kylo doesn’t like to talk about what happened with his family. I know there was an accident. I know he was blamed. I know his father forced him to leave. I know his father died. And I know he hasn’t spoken to any of them since he was forced out.”

Poe groaned a bit. Hux wondered what Kylo was holding back about his life in Yavin.

“Look, there’s a bit more to it than that, but Rey and Finn will be here any second. I don’t know if they know about you and Kylo being a couple, but if they find out you both are here it will definitely get back to Leia. I’m sure Kylo doesn’t want that can of worms to be opened without his knowledge.”

“I’m certain he doesn’t want that even with his knowledge. And you…won’t be letting on that it’s us hiding upstairs?”

A complicated mix of emotions rushed across Poe’s face.

“As much as I would love Ben, or Kylo, to come home and at least see his family, I’m not looking to make things more complicated for him. He needs to want it.”

Hux turned and started walking towards the door he’d watched Kylo disappear through, but he stopped before he went through. He turned back, and caught Poe’s eye as he knelt down to lay out his tools and the parts for the repairs.

“Again, why?”

Suddenly Poe couldn’t meet his gaze anymore. He looked down and busied himself more with the tools. Hux wondered if he wasn’t going to answer when he heard the quiet reply.

“You know why.” He admitted.

“I see.”

Hux stared at Poe for a few more moments before rushing through the door and up the stairs to the apartment.

When he burst through the door at the top of the stairs, he expected to see Kylo somewhere. He wasn’t in the hall. He wasn’t in the living room. He wasn’t in the kitchen. That’s when he heard the bathroom faucet running.

Hux found he was having trouble breathing, not just from running up the stairs. Hux was in much better shape than that.  He wondered what else his boyfriend hadn’t told him about his past. Would he have even mentioned this was his home town when driving through? Hux figured he wasn’t supposed to know about the party. What else did he not know about, was he not supposed to know about?

“Kylo…” He called from outside of the bathroom.  “Kylo!” He tried to open the door, but he found it was locked. “Kylo! Don’t you dare shut me out right now! You know you have some explaining to do!”

He heard the heavy sigh through the door. The water cut out, and Hux heard his boyfriend approach and open the door. There were still water droplets clinging to his face, and he looked quite anxious. Like he was ready to bolt. Hux nearly melted.

But he didn’t.

“Look, Hux-“ He sounded small and wounded, but Hux didn’t wait for an explanation.

“You know I’m annoyed you didn’t tell me we were going to drive through your home town. I am not happy about the fact that you never told me that your mother’s been hosting an annual party, or the fact that it’s this weekend. I get not talking about your family, because we both know how much I talk about mine. And I do expect you to explain about everything… But first…I need to know. I need you to tell me right now. Did you know?”

Kylo’s eyes were wide, terrified, but also slightly confused.

“Did I know what?”

“About Poe?”

“I had no idea Poe was in town. He’s a commercial pilot. I don’t know why he’s staying here right now.”

“No, Kylo…Did you know he’s still in love with you?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes a confession. Hux meets some interesting towns folk at the local Bar.

“SHIT! WHAT?” Kylo nearly fell over in shock.

“You heard me. And don’t think I’ve missed how you looked at him.”

“No…you can’t…he doesn’t…he can’t.”

“Believe me, Ren,  he does!”

Kylo ran his hand over his face.

He didn’t understand. Poe, by all accounts, should hate him. He’d left. Ben left one night, and he hadn’t even said anything to Poe when Han kicked him out. Nobody believed that he hadn’t cause the incident at the mine. He didn’t know what Poe would say, and he was too afraid to find out. So he left town. He’d never been back.

If leaving without saying a word hadn’t been enough, Poe had tracked him down. He’d legally changed his name by then, so he had no idea how Poe found him, but he showed up at his apartment. He tried to get Kylo to come back home. Tried to explain what had happened after he left. Kylo didn’t listen. Kylo was awful to him. Screamed. Told him he wasn’t Ben anymore and that he would never go back. Lied when he said he’d never loved Poe, and made him promise to never come back.

He didn’t want to make Poe leave. He wished Poe could stay. But for the young pilot’s sake he needed things to break.

“I broke his heart, Hux. I did it on purpose. I made him leave me.”

“Well, you did a shit job of it, just like you do a shit job of everything.” Hux hissed. Kylo felt his face crumple and couldn’t stop the tears in his eyes. He turned back into the bathroom, but felt his boyfriend’s hand on his shoulder to pull him back. “Look, I’m sorry. I did not mean that. I just…You still have feelings for him, obviously, or you wouldn’t be this freaked out.”

“It’s not just him, Hux. It’s everything here. I wasn’t the best behaved kid.  And thanks to that, everyone thinks I cause a mine explosion that killed hundreds and destroyed the Alderaan Mine. My mother never had time for me, and my dad had enough when the mine accident happened. My Uncle is some crazy drunk ex-monk and he and my cousin blame me for her mother’s death because she died in the accident. I…I can’t be here. But I’m stuck here…at my ex’s mercy. And yours.”

He watched as Hux folded his arms across his chest.

“I noticed you didn’t deny your feelings for him in that explanation.”

Kylo sighed heavily.

“What do you want me to say, Hux? I’m with you. I’m happy. I never expected to see Poe again. Seeing him now doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“What are you planning to do about it?”

Kylo didn’t entirely understand why Hux was reacting this way. They had discussed Poe in the past, and he hadn’t posed this much of a problem.

“Nothing! He’ll fix the car, and we’ll leave, and never have to come back.”

“No.”

“What do you mean? No?

“I mean it’s not good enough, Kylo.” Hux huffed. He turned and stalked back down the hallway. He stopped when he realized Kylo followed him. “How could it ever be good enough when I know I’m not getting your whole heart? That I never have?”

“But you do. Hux, you have all of me.”

“Can you honestly tell me that you aren’t still in love with him? Because if you can’t...I’m not sure you and I are going to work.”

“…Hux…you…you are the only one…”

“Tell. Me. You. Don’t. Love. Him!”

“Hux, I don’t want him. I want you.”

“TELL. ME.”

“Hux, please!’

“TELL ME, KYLO!”

“I…can’t…”

Hux closed his eyes. He shuddered like he was holding back a sob. Kylo grabbed his shoulders.

“Hux, please listen to me. I-“ He tried to explain, but Hux wouldn’t let him.

“I can’t.” His voice was shaking. “I need to…I need to think. I need to get out of here. I…FUCK! I can’t believe this.”

“Hux, please! I love you!”

“But you fucking love him, too. I need to get out of here!” Hux twisted out of Kylo’s grip and started for the door. Kylo took a few steps after him, but Hux stopped him. “DO NOT FOLLOW ME!”

Kylo froze, and Hux ran out of the apartment.

The town was hell for Kylo. It always had been. He’d been back for less than an hour and it seemed to be costing him his beloved boyfriend.

He rushed to the end of the hallway, through the cracked open door, and found himself in a dark bedroom.  Even by the low light he could see it was where Poe had been sleeping. Kylo knew he shouldn’t be in there. That it would be bad if either Poe or Hux found him there, but at the moment he knew he didn’t care.

He grabbed one of the pillows from the bed, sank down in the darkest corner of the room, pressed the pillow to his face, and screamed.  He screamed as loud and long as he could before he started feeling light headed. Then he turned his head to take deep breaths and tried to ignore how much the pillow smelled like Poe…and how much he liked it.

He didn’t need the confusion. He needed to leave this town. He hoped against hope it would be with Hux. At least, with the car out of commission for a while he didn’t have to worry about Hux up and leaving him there.

Then he was startled by soft paws and an inquiring meow. He peaked over the pillow to see a fluffy orange and black calico cat staring him in the face.

***

Hux rushed through the door at the bottom of the stairs and slammed it behind him. He didn’t look at the ridiculously handsome man who rescued Kylo and him from the side of the road, or the 2 other people who had joined him. He had nothing to say to the home wrecker or his friends.

The times that Kylo had spoken of his home town, Hux wondered if the colorful descriptions of the man’s personal hell on earth were slightly embellished. Now he wasn’t so sure.  But he refused to let himself feel sorry for the man who had sworn his endless love and limitless devotion, yet just now admitted his love for his ex, the afore mentioned home wrecker.

Hux never imagined the Kylo might have feelings for another person. He always seemed so committed. Ever since they met during Hux’s senior year at the University Hux never questioned Kylo’s feelings or intentions.

But now? Hux wanted to scream. How could he compete with that man with the perfect messy black curls, and the dark eyes that could capture anyone, and that perfect bronze skin? He rescued them from the side of the road, and he basically offered to teach Hux how to fix his car if they had time. Hux even suspected he was going to refuse payment for the work he was doing…the asshole.

Hux needed a drink.

Now!

He was sure he’d seen a bar on the way into town.

Hux ran for a few minutes before he saw the neon sign that read “Tokadona or Bust” with a picture of a martini next to it. It looked relatively ancient, and rather run down (just like everything else in this town if you asked Hux) but he wasn’t about to try to find another bar. (He was fairly certain there wasn’t another to be found in the tiny town.)

He pushed through the door and found himself in one of the smallest, narrowest establishments he’d ever been in. And all 5 patrons at the establishment plus the tiny woman tending bar turned to stare at the newcomer.

Then they stared harder and longer, no doubt because not a single one of them recognized the strange red head. It must have been a novelty to have a stranger rush into the town bar.

The stares made him feel even more shaken, but he suddenly refused to let these people see him flounder. He squared his shoulders, straightened his back, and the few rogue tears on his cheeks were forgotten. He strode up to the counter and sat on a stool.

The tiny, elderly barwoman nodded to him, and set to work on mixing a cocktail. Hux was impressed with her abilities. He was even more impressed when she set a Classic Manhattan in front of him.

“You didn’t even ask if this is the drink I wanted,” he mused as he brought the martini glass to his lips for a drink. It was perfectly mixed at the right proportions even though she hadn’t measured any of the ingredients.

“You have a look about you,” she replied, peering at him through thick glasses that made her eyes seem absolutely huge compared to the rest of her. “Something about your eyes that told me what you needed, Armitage.”

“Actually I prefer to go by Hu…Hux!” The ginger had been staring at his drink, still in awe at its perfection. He froze though. His words almost trailed off when he realized that the small barkeep had used his first name. “How did you know my-“

She had disappeared. She must have gone through the door off the end of the bar and into the back room (even if the swinging door didn’t appear to have moved.)

“Maz can tell a lot about people just by looking at them.”

Hux nearly fell of his stool.

The man had appeared out of nowhere beside him, just as the barwoman, Maz, had disappeared.   He had wild graying blond hair, and a rather unkempt beard. Hux regarded the man for a moment as he tried to regain the composure he’d just recovered thanks to the cocktail he’d been given.  It looked like he was wearing robes, instead of normal clothing, as if he were some kind of monk just passing through. But what was a monk doing at a bar.

“Even names?” Hux inquired as he blinked at the blue eyed gaze that was locked on him.

The man chuckled and nodded. “Not for everyone. She must have gotten really good read on you.”

Hux felt as if the man were peering into his soul. He’d felt a hint of that with Maz before she disappeared, but with the man next to him? He felt as if he’d never be able to hide anything from him. He recalled feeling that way from time to time with Kylo when he’d been caught in his gaze.

He wondered for a moment if it was simply a gift that the residents of this small town possessed.

“There is something about you, though,” the old man continued. “Even if it weren’t painfully obvious that you’re an out-of-towner, I think the people here would still be drawn to you. To _see_ who you really are.”

Hux considered turning away and ignoring the strange man. He didn’t know how much he could handle the eccentric townsfolk at the moment. Not with how things were dissolving before his eyes with the man he considered the love of his life. Especially with how the cause seemed to be getting stuck in this God forsaken town.

Yet he found himself taking a big swallow of his Manhattan and turning to engage the man who had joined him.

“And who do you think I really am?”

The man squinted at him. Then his eyes seemed to lose focus. Hux became weirded out because he swore he felt a slight tingling at the base of his head. Then the other’s vision cleared and he smiled.

“You’re Armitage Hux.” Hux snorted. He could have heard that from the barkeep, Maz. “Your father wanted you to take over his business once you graduated with a Masters in Business Analytics and Administration. But after a childhood of abuse and control, you ran. And while you do have a Masters degrees, they are in English and Literature. You’re a Professor at the finest University in Coruscant.”

Hux was impressed and almost terrified.

“How did you…” he tried to voice the question, but it wouldn’t leave his mouth.

“You had a difficult life, full of instability, and so you distanced yourself from everyone. But somebody won your heart…and now you’re worried that your time with him is over...or was a lie.”

Hux downed the rest of his drink, desperately wishing for another, but he needed to get out of there. He couldn’t hear anymore.

He pushed back from the counter and turned to leave, but the man caught his arm.

“He’s with you,” he said, his voice almost haunting. “The one you fear losing. He’s in town with you. Ben, he brought you here.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux gains some insight about Kylo's past. Poe ends up following Hux to the local bar.

“How…how could you possibly know that?” Hux asked the grizzly man who clutched his arm.

“I can sense him about you,” he replied with a smile. “You are the only one who could have managed to bring him back now that his father’s gone.”

Hux snorted at that.

“Believe me, sir, we wouldn’t be here if my car hadn’t broken down,” he huffed at the man. “I had no idea that my phone’s GPS would take us on a short cut past this hole in the wall town, nor that Kylo was from here. And as for his father? I am certain Kylo is relieved he’ll never have to see the scoundrel again.”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to judge a man you never met.”

“He kicked Kylo out over something he didn’t do! I think I have a right to judge the man who forced him to leave everything he ever knew.”

The man suddenly looked very sad.

“Han made a mistake.”

“That’s putting it rather lightly, don’t you think?” Hux definitely had enough of the grizzly old man. He tried to shake out of his grip, but found his arm held fast. “Look, I’m not sure who you are, but I have no desire to continue a conversation with someone who can lighten something that resulted in Kylo having to leave his childhood home, change his name, and refuse, point blank, to ever mention the man again to ‘Han made a mistake.’”

“Please, sit back down,” the man plead. “There’s something I’m certain you don’t know about the situation, something my nephew doesn’t know either.”

“Nephew…you’re the drunken, former monk uncle who blames Kylo for the death of his wife?”

“My name is Luke. Yes, I’m Ben’s uncle. I’ll have you know I only drink on rare occasion, as much as Maz hates it, I spend most of my time in here trying to get some of the regulars to stop drinking. As for my wife’s death…I never blamed Ben.”

“He certainly thinks you did when he left.”

“I fear that was my daughter’s fault. She, like many others in town, believed he caused the mine explosion.”

Hux sat down finally. Maz reappeared. She glared at Luke as she mixed and replaced Hux’s Manhattan.

“But you knew different?”

“I could feel it.”

“Do you fancy yourself a psychic, then?”

Luke chuckled. “Not exactly. I can’t read anyone’s mind or tell their fortunes. But I can sense things about them. I get feelings, flashes of their life from time to time; I can look at people and know their names without them telling me. For a long time everyone was convinced that I am a prophet, so I went away, studied what that meant in distant countries. I came back home to help on the ranch when my father died. I reconnected with an old friend, Mara, and we married…had Rey.”

“Is Rey like you?” Hux asked.

“Sometimes I think she’s exactly like me. Others…” He shrugged.

“I meant is she able to feel others like you are?”

“Yes, though she chooses not to use it as freely as I do.”

“So she could tell, but she still blamed him?”

“Greif can do strange things to people.”

“So, what about Han? Did he have this _gift_? Could he tell Kylo was innocent?”

“No, the _gift_ as you call it runs in the family. Half the reason Ben had as much trouble when he was a child was his dealings with the _gift_. He’d pick up the feelings of those around him, not understanding what was happening, and he would ask about whatever he picked up on. With his parents, it was their fighting. With other children it could be anything, but he was labeled a freak simply because he was worried and would ask if he could help with things the other children hadn’t even talked about before. He ended up having only one friend. The only one who didn’t seem to mind his questions; Poe.”

“Of course. Fucking perfect Poe was Ben’s only friend.”

“His mother died, her plane was shot down during the Gulf War. Ben was the only one who bothered to ask him how he was. Offer support. It resulted in a very loyal friendship between the two. And believe me; Poe was better than Mr. Snoke. Poe kept Kylo out of a lot of trouble where Snoke was concerned. Poe’s probably the reason Kylo wasn’t involved in the mine accident.”

Hux didn’t know what to think about that. Kylo had mentioned the name Snoke about as much as he mentioned his family and Poe. He’d heard the name, saw in the news when he stood trial and was sentenced to multiple life terms in prison. He remembered how bizarrely Kylo had acted that day.

He turned back towards the counter and downed his drink. He was surprised that the third had been placed in front of him already.

“You asked me about Han though,” Luke continued, changing the subject. “After the explosion, the insurance companies came out to assess damages, look for causes, press charges if need be. But they found faulty wiring and a set up fuel leak to be the cause. And after looking at surveillance footage, it was proven Ben was never there that night. This information was released about a year after Ben had disappeared from town. Han knew how I felt. He knew I knew he’d thrown Ben out, so he’d been avoiding me up until that point. But he met me here one afternoon, he told me what he’d done. What was more surprising is that he said he intended to make it right. See, he may have been bothered by the fact that Ben could tell what he was feeling a lot of the time, but he loved his son. He never wanted to hurt him, but with the incident at the mine he felt he had no other choice. He regretted it every day.”

“But…he never made it right.”

“He tried. He knew Poe tracked Ben down, so he found out where he was from him. He…he was on his way to bring Ben home when the crash happened.”

Hux felt numb. He’d always believed Kylo’s family hadn’t ever wanted him. That his father was the worst offender of the group of them…But if what Luke said was true…

“Why didn’t his mother try to find him?”

“Because she knew we had to let him come back on his own. You can’t really force Kylo, or Ben, to do anything.”

Hux huffed a small laugh. “That’s for certain. You do realize he’s not here of his own free will?”

Luke smiled sadly. “But he is here. Maybe we can start to fix what’s gone wrong. Earn back the trust that’s been lost.”

“I don’t see how that can happen when we’re leaving as soon as the car is fixed.”

“Then maybe you should figure out a way to prolong the repairs to your car.”

Hux looked down at his drink. It was madness, to figure out a reason for them to stay in this little town longer, just so Kylo could make amends with his family. It was complete and utter madness that he was even considering getting his other half to stay.

Yet, something in him trusted Luke. Something in him wanted Kylo to reconcile with his family, partially because he, himself, would never be able to reconcile with his own family (not that his father would ever want him back.) And partially because he wanted to make himself look better than the man who rescued them from the side of the road earlier.

“And how would you suggest I do-“

Before Hux could finish his question two things happened. The door to the bar opened to Poe rushing in, and the forgotten cell phone started to ring in his pocket.

***

Poe looked up when the door to the apartment slammed to see a flurry of red hair, sea green shirt, and dark blue jeans fly through to garage and out.

“SHIT!”

Poe had realized too late that he probably shouldn’t have told Hux that he was still in love with Ben, and now he was certain that the man had gone up to confront his boyfriend. And clearly that didn’t end well.

“Your emergency rescue doesn’t seem very happy,” Rey commented as she peered down into the poorly maintained engine. “And he deserves it if this is how he treats this piece of art.”

“Something tells me he got it mostly like this,” Poe defended. “Only worse. He asked if I would show him how to fix what we need to fix to get her running properly, so I think he bought her to learn.”

“A man after your own heart, then?” she teased. “And from what I saw not too bad to look at. Poe, he might be exactly what you’re waiting for. The perfect man to help you move on from Ben.”

“Rey, stop it!” Finn scolded. He glanced at Poe, and then continued. “Poe has a right to choose whoever he wants. The whole town knows Ben’s innocent. That it was that Snoke guy. When are you going to let that go?”

“He never came back.”

“He never felt welcome or at home here, and people blaming him for the accident was probably icing on the cake. You blamed him after all.”

“He could have come back once he was cleared. His family is here.”

“Look, I’m going after ginger, to see what’s upset him.” Poe had heard the argument before. Rey never forgave her cousin for leaving and refusing to come back. She knew it was unfair of her, but she was stubborn. “Finn, buddy, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” he nodded.

They left Rey grumbling at the engine about the engine and Ben.  Poe led Finn back into the office, and made sure the door was shut tight before he started.

“Look, I need you to promise me you’ll keep Rey out of the apartment until I get back,” Poe started.

Finn gave him a confused look.

“Why?”

“You’re not going to believe this. The…the person…Ginger…Hux is his name. He didn’t come alone.”

“Oh, so your new boyfriend’s already spoken for?” Finn’s eyes twinkled with teasing. “So no Rey upstairs? Why would you want me to keep Rey away from them…?” Finn’s eyes widened. “Unless…”

“It’s Ben. And he probably just had a fight with his boyfriend, who I need to track down.”

“Oh, shit! Poe!”

“Yeah, I…I couldn’t just let him…I couldn’t just leave them there with the car broken down. Anyways, I have to go find Hux. See if I can get him to come back.”

Finn nodded. He gripped Poe’s shoulder, knowing it couldn’t be easy for him to have Ben in town with a new boyfriend. Poe half smiled at Finn, then turned and walked out of the office.

“Behave…” Poe teased, and then he turned serious. “Why don’t you hold off on anything major until I get back?”

“Don’t trust me with your new boyfriend’s car?” Rey teased back.

“Should I trust you with his car?”

“I’m hurt, Poe!” She held up her hand as if she was swearing an oath. “I promise not to do any irreparable damage.”

“FINN! Watch her.”

Poe walked out of the shop before either could reply again.

Though he hadn’t seen the direction Hux had rushed off in, Poe was certain that he’d headed for the only bar in town. That was always the first place out-of-towners went to in the small town of Yavin after they checked into the hotel. If someone was upset? They went to the bar. If you were off of work for the day? You went to the bar. If you wanted to talk to Luke or Maz? You went to the “Tokadona or Bust” Bar.

So Poe rushed down 5 blocks to Yavin’s only bar without a plan, to see if he could help patch things up between the love of his life and _his_ live-in boyfriend.  

He pushed the door open and was relieved that he was correct in Hux’s destination. The fact that he seemed to be conversing with Luke Skywalker surprised him. The man looked startled to see him walking into the bar. Poe tried to convince himself the nervous feeling at seeing him was because he didn’t want a confrontation, and not because Rey and Finn teasing may have had some weight to it.

Poe was about to walk up to him when Hux held up his hand to stop him and pulled out his phone.

“Phas!...No, darling, I’m sorry! I’m afraid my car broke down in the middle of nowhere...No! No, we were rescued by a very nice mechanic…No, I don’t want you to do that, it’s your wedding for fuck’s sake…look, doll, the mechanic just walked up to me to give me an update on the car. I’ll call you back when I know how long we’ll be stuck here...NO I’M NOT ACTUALLY IN A BAR!!!...No, I’m certain I don’t want you driving down here to get Kylo and I…No, he’s sleeping…right…I promise I’ll call you back in a few minutes. Bye, Love.”

He hung up his phone and scowled at Poe.

“Hux, I-“

But the ginger man interrupted him.

“Shouldn’t you be back at your apartment trying to steal your ex back?”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe talks about his and Kylo's past (especially his past with Snoke.) Kylo has a conversation with Poe's cat.

Poe actually looked hurt by the jab. Hux felt marginally bad about it, but his brain clung to the fact that the other man was Kylo’s ex. That he was still in love with Kylo…and that Kylo was still in love with him.

“Hux, just because he’s here doesn’t mean I’m going to…Ben…Kylo made it very clear how he really felt about me a long time ago.” It looked like it killed Poe to say that. “I’m here to see if there is something I can do to help.”

Hux pursed his lips. Some crazy part of his mind wanted to tell Poe the truth about Kylo’s feelings…but where would that get him? Yes, the conversation with Luke had convinced him the Kylo needed to make amends with what was left of his family and home town by extension. But reuniting him with the gorgeous ex? (And he was gorgeous…)

“I’m sure you would love to help, but right now you’re interrupting my conversation with Lu-Luke…” Hux turned to indicate the older man, but he had disappeared.

He turned back to Poe settling on the barstool next to him with a smirk on his face. As if he knew Hux was considering the thought he might be a little crazy or drunk and imagined the grizzled man who was Kylo’s uncle.

“Don’t worry,” Poe chuckled. “Luke is very good at dissolving into thin air when he figures he’s not required any longer.”

“Apparently he materializes precisely when he assumes he is required as well.” He downed the third Manhattan.

“He knew exactly who you were, didn’t he?”

The raise of Poe’s eyebrow shouldn’t have made Hux’s stomach do that…or was it the alcohol. He probably shouldn’t have grabbed the forth Manhattan as quickly as he had either, which caused another raise of the eyebrow. Hux really needed to concentrate on Kylo…not the man facing him.

But Poe had offered to help. And if he was honest, Poe knew more about Kylo than anyone in this infernal town. Maybe it would be useful to at least talk to him, and learn more about what happened…and about this Snoke fellow that Luke mentioned, and just what his relationship was to Kylo.

“You say you want to help me?” Hux inquired. He hoped the slight slurring of words was only in his head.

Poe considered the question as Maz passed him one of three drinks. The first was something, neat. The next was clearly a screwdriver. The third…appeared to be a larger screwdriver? Hux wasn’t sure. He was sure he wanted the man to answer his question and to stop looking quite so appealing.

“Well, let’s get this straight.” Poe turned fully to him and looked him square in the eye. Hux blinked a few times to get him in proper focus. “My main concern is Ben…Kylo. I would do anything for him. I only want him happy, but something tells me he is with you…So, yes, if I can help you work things out with him, I will.”

“That’s very noble of you, considering he-“

SHIT! Hux wasn’t supposed to let that slip.

“Considering what exactly?”

He needed to cover up that slip and fast…

“…He broke your heart…yet, you still want what’s best for him?”

“I guess that’s how love works.”

Hux watched in fascination as Poe took a long drink from the reddish liquor. The way his throat worked as he swallowed. The way Hux wanted to be that reddish liquor meeting those lips and slipping down his throat…He shook his head. Perhaps it was time to stop drinking the Manhattans that the little bartender kept presenting him with.

What was he supposed to ask again?

“SNOKE!” he shouted, not meaning to.

“What?” Poe jumped a little.

“I’m sorry…Luke he told me that Kylo…Ben had a made friends with that man named Snoke.”

The look on Poe’s face darkened, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’m taking that as a yes. I know nothing about him other than he had a very public trial and it caused Kylo to behave very strangely for weeks when he was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison.” He watched as Poe quickly finished the neat drink and move on to the screwdriver, as if this conversation would require a buffer of sorts. That wasn’t good. “I’m sorry to ask you, but as Kylo is tight lipped about almost everything in this town and his childhood and his family…something we’re both guilty of really. He’s told me more of you…I think you were the best part of his life here.” Poe’s cheeks colored, and he sort of inclined his head in acknowledgement. Hux tried to ignore how that made his stomach flip…and why was he still drinking? “But he never mentioned this Snoke, not once. There’s so much I don’t know…and I need to if I’m…if I’m going to stay with him, and help him.”

Poe took a long drink from his screw driver. Then, with a grim expression, he turned to Hux.

“I can understand why he doesn’t talk about it,” he started quietly. “Ben didn’t have an easy time. I’m sure you got a taste of the _gift_ his family shares from Luke.”

“Yeah, Luke talked a bit about it. That the other children called him a freak because he would pick up on their feelings and ask about it.”

“Yeah…of course that’s how we became friends. My mother, her fighter was shot down. I was eight. They, the city council and the mayor, held a memorial service for her. Had a celebration of her life for remembrance. Once it was over everyone forgot. People would occasionally ask how I was holding up, how dad was getting on, but…” He stopped for a moment, clearly struggling to keep his composure. He turned and looked at Hux with tears in his eyes. “How are you supposed to just…fucking…go back…when your mom dies? They expect you to just be normal when there’s this big fucking hole…Ben…he was the only one. He could tell. He knew, so he asked and he…he’d give me his cookies from lunch, and he’d make up games for us to play, and he’d just sit there and hold my hand if I couldn’t handle anything else.”

Hux watched as a small tear break free, and damn! He wanted to tell the man about Kylo’s lingering feelings, but then Hux wondered. Maybe Poe knew exactly what he was doing to Hux, pulling at his heart strings. He determined himself not to fall for it. That didn’t stop him from reaching out to grip the man’s arm, perhaps the alcohol was effecting him more than he initially realized. Then Poe reached across to grip his hand in return. Oh, this was dangerous.

“So…you two stuck together after that.”

“Yeah, we were inseparable. I was the only one who treated him like he was normal or special in a good way, and he’s the only one who stuck by me after my mom died. We were always very loyal to each other. If somebody gave Ben trouble, I was there. If someone was a jerk to me, Ben would take care of it. It was the summer before freshman year when he kissed me the first time. I laughed and asked him what took him so long. I…had a crush for years. So…we were best friends one day, and boyfriends the next. And things were great. I thought…I thought we would be together forever. Foolish of me, right? I was 15.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I would rather be your version of 15 than mine. Let’s just say I when I was home I had to deal with my psychologically and physically abusive father, otherwise I was attending military school, friendless, forced to get the best grades otherwise deal with my father’s wrath at school...” Poe gripped his hand harder. Hux tried to pull his hand away, but wasn’t able to. “Weren’t you were supposed to be telling me about this Snoke?”

The concern on Poe’s face wasn’t easy to take, so Hux reached for his drink and took a large swallow. This wasn’t supposed to be about them, it was supposed to be about Kylo. He needed to remember that!

“Right…I was getting to Snoke. He showed up in town the summer between sophomore and junior year. From what I understand he met Ben’s grandpa when he was out traveling, and was told about this town and the Skywalker family and their shared _gift_. Anakin realized something was off about him, and came home to protect his family and home. It took years for Snoke to track down the Skywalkers and come to Yavin. Anakin was gone by then. Leia was unflappable in her politics career. Luke had been warned about the man and kept him at arm’s length at the closest. Then there was Ben. Ben who only ever had me as a friend. Ben who wanted to impress parents that had very little for him. Ben who was an outcast for a gift that gave him the ability to read people and empathize better than anyone. And Snoke…he wanted Ben for that specific reason.

“He wanted to use Ben. He did use Ben. And things started to happen. Bad things. Fights broke out. Items were stolen. Houses burned. It was suspected that Ben was responsible for all of it. His folks were rarely around, what with his mom being a senator and his dad with his international logistics career. I…I actually found some of the stolen things in Ben’s room out on the ranch. Ben screamed at me for going through his things. I almost left. I almost walked away from him because he had changed, but I asked him why it was happening. Why he was doing these things? And...he…he started crying. Snoke…I don’t know how it worked or happened, but Snoke was controlling him and using him. And I begged. That he tell his parents. Tell the police. Tell Luke. Tell somebody who could help. I begged him to come with me to school, but he’d already committed to where Snoke wanted him. He promised he would distance himself from him. It was college after all.”

“But that didn’t happen…”

“No, it only got worse.”

***

Kylo was laying on his back on the floor of Poe’s bedroom. His head was laying on Poe’s pillow and he was trying not to look at the cat that was settled across his collarbones, purring and swatting at the hair fanned around his head. Every time he tried to move the cat it would hiss and growl at him, so he was dealing with the somewhat comforting weight and fluffy fur.

“I’m not sure who you are, but I would really appreciate it if you would stop trying to suffocate me,” he told the cat.

The cat responded with a couple sassy sounding meows.

“I’m fine! I don’t need your comfort!”

The cat made a noise like it clearly didn’t believe him.

“Okay, fine, I’m not fine. But I’m sure Hux will be back as soon as he cools off.”

He looked at him, clearly judging him.

“Like you’re some love expert who knows the inner-workings of my live-in boyfriend.”

The cat meowed as if to say _I am_.

“Just because I might still have feelings for Poe doesn’t mean he’ll dump me.”

The Judging look again.

“You’re worse than Millicent!”

Now he looked offended.

“I’m allowed to talk about another cat when I actually live with it!”

The cat got up from his chest, walked five feet away from him, and sat staring purposefully away from him.

“Whatever! You’re not even my cat!”

The cat picked up his paw and licked it a couple times. Then he set his paw back down and looked at the bedroom door.

Kylo was about to make another remark to the affronted cat when he heard what had drawn the cat’s attention. Somebody had entered the apartment.

“BB!” she called. “Where are you kitty-kitty?”

_OH, SHIT!_ Kylo knew who it was without ever hearing her voice as an adult. Being rescued by Poe was something he could handle, as Poe clearly wanted what was best for him. But…his cousin, Rey. Coming in contact with her would only end poorly.

“BB,” he whispered as quietly as he could. “Go find Rey! Go see Rey.”

The cat perked up his ears and turned back towards him. Kylo slumped back in the pillow in disbelief as the cat, BB, trotted back over to him and crawled back onto his chest.

They both perked up a bit when they heard a second person in the apartment.

“REY! What are you doing up here?” This voice must belong to Finn.

Both he and Rey had been kids when Ben left for good. Kylo hadn’t even come home when his father had been killed in the accident. He wasn’t one hundred percent certain on who was with his cousin, but it was a reasonable to assume that Finn still followed her around like he always had. He didn’t exactly want to have to face Finn either…not after what Snoke forced him to do to the boy.

“Well, since Poe’s not letting us touch the car until he’s back with the ginger, I thought I would come up and play with BB.”

“Look, Rey, ginger’s boyfriend is up here…resting. Poe wanted me to make sure we didn’t disturb him.”

“Oh, damn! Ginger has a boyfriend? I was hoping Poe would hook-up with the guy, and they would get married, and have adorable bronze skinned red haired babies.”

“You do know that’s not possible, right?” There was an audible smack. “OW!”

“Of course I know they can’t actually have children that way. I just thought maybe Poe might finally move on.”

“Well, as far as we know that’s not happening. Now, this guy is sleeping up here. Let’s go back down to the shop. I’ll run over to the gas station and get you some M&Ms?”

“The peanut ones!”

“Of course!”

“Alright, but I want to meet the boyfriend when he wakes up.  And ginger when he gets back. Why does Poe get to meet all the interesting people?”

“Because he’s a pilot.”

Rey grumbled something Kylo couldn’t hear, and she audibly walked back out of the apartment.

Kylo waited for Finn to go as well, but when he heard footsteps they were coming closer, not leaving. He scrambled up into a sitting position, ready to bolt if he needed to. Finn stopped right outside of the door.

“Look…I know it’s you,” Finn confessed. “Poe told me. He also asked that I keep Rey out of here, but just so you know…I think you should talk to her. I think you should talk to all of them before you leave again and never come back. The town knows, Kylo. That you were being manipulated by Snoke. That he messed with your mind so badly you didn’t have control of yourself or your thoughts or feelings. And I know that it’s probably what happened with me. Now I won’t force you to come out and deal with any of that, but…Kylo, you’re here, and you have a chance to make things right with the family you have left. You should take it while you have it.”

Then he walked back down the hall and out of the apartment.

Kylo was left to the cat on his chest and the thoughts in his mind of all the things he didn’t want to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe explains the more of Kylo's past with Snoke. Then Hux makes a plan.

Poe felt sick talking about Mr. Snoke. It brought up all the memories he did his best to ignore. Ben leaving Yavin for First Order University. Their contact becoming fewer and farther between. The slow dread that Ben was being corrupted, that he’d never recover or come back.

“In the middle of his second year at First Order he called me one night…told me he was changing his name,” Poe continued explaining. “I asked him why, and he said so he didn’t have to associate himself with the unsupportive disappointment that was his family. Which, like I said, they hadn’t been around that much. And when the problems started it seemed like they had even less time for him. But I was confused because I thought things had been going better for him, so I asked if he’d been keeping away from Snoke. He hissed that it was none of my business. Then he hung up on me and didn’t speak to me again for three months. “

He stopped and looked down at Hux’s hand trapped under his own. It felt natural…holding onto his hand felt natural. Poe hadn’t felt like anything like that since Ben.  It figured the guy wouldn’t be single. Even more so that he was actually living with Ben, er, Kylo.

He gently pulled his hand away and turned back to the bar. He took a slow drink of his screw driver, and he sighed heavily.

“Was that the end of your relationship then? If he didn’t talk to you for months…”

He blinked and glanced over at Hux. For whatever reason he was still gripping his arm even though he tried to pull away once. He was acting like he really cared, but that could very well be because they were talking about Kylo as well…but the man still held onto his arm.

“No. I thought it was, then, but Kylo came home that summer. He’d changed his name by then, and I chose to respect his wishes to be called Kylo. I only call him Ben as a slip. Anyways, I wasn’t expecting him to come back. I honestly didn’t expect to see him again. But there he was…and when he saw me he came running. He kissed me like I was the most precious thing in the world.”

“That sounds like Kylo. He apologized, then?”

Poe took another slow drink, not sure he wanted to answer. Not sure how Hux would take it.

“Not exactly…I mean he did, but…first he proposed.”

Hux had just taken a drink of his fifth or sixth cocktail, and spit it all over the bar in shock. He quickly snatched his hand away from Poe’s arm. His eyes were wide, but it was hard for Poe to tell if it was from anger or shock or both.

“HE. DID. WHAT!?!? He…He never, not once, told me you were engaged!”

“I never gave him an answer,” Poe sighed. “I told him I needed to think about it…I mean he’d just spent the last 3 months not speaking to me…” Poe heaved another heavy sigh. “He explained that...that he suddenly realized what Snoke was doing to him. That it took him…hurting me, and being encouraged to cut ties with me, the person he cared about most, to realize Snoke was trying to isolate him more and more. I don’t know what would have happened to him if he’d…not tried to get away when he did.”

He took another drink. Then said grimly, “Of course, Snoke didn’t like losing his protégé.”

Poe glanced over at the ginger. Hux looked like he wasn’t sure how he should be reacting, still shaken by the fact that Kylo had proposed to him, but also wanting to hear more. He took a sip from the cocktail in his hand before the pilot reached over and took it away from him.

“HEY!”

“Trust me, you’ve had enough.”

He could tell Hux wanted to argue, but he could also tell that Hux knew he was swaying slightly on his stool.

“So…Snoke…he must have come after Kylo?” Hux finally prodded to keep Poe talking.

Poe placed a steadying hand on Hux’s lower back to keep him from falling off the stool as he continued.

“Yeah, Kylo was home for about a month…we…moved in together in one of the cabins out at the ranch. See, I may not have said yes to him when he proposed, but…I definitely didn’t say no. Anyways, things were going nicely. He was working on transferring colleges, getting his transcripts, so he could apply to different places near the Naval Academy I was attending. I was so freakin’ happy…Then after about a month we drove into town for groceries and so I could stop by and see how my dad was doing…and Snoke was there. Kylo told me to go see my dad; he would take care of Snoke…so I left him alone with the bastard.

“I don’t know exactly what happened. I guess Kylo convinced Snoke to go talk someplace more private, so they wouldn’t have a crowd listening in…Finn, he’d heard the whole thing up to that point so he followed them out to the mine. He’d heard Kylo agree to go out there after arguing that Snoke leave. Finn, he was just a kid, so he took his bike…by the time he got there Kylo was struggling…and I guess he agreed to leave with Snoke again. But Finn…he interfered. He said Kylo gave him a terrified look, then Snoke grabbed Kylo, and his whole demeanor changed. His expression went blank and his voice lost all emotion…”

“What?” Hux looked horrified.

“I…I don’t…I didn’t see it, so I don’t know what happened. And Finn doesn’t remember much of what happened, especially after that, because Snoke ordered Kylo to kill him.”

“NO! Kylo wouldn’t…he would never!”

“I know…it’s not in his nature, he wouldn’t, but he did…Finn’s lucky to be walking, really. We didn’t know what happened to him until he woke up a few weeks later. He actually asked if Kylo was okay…he knew something happened…something was wrong.”

They were both quiet for a while. Poe trying to not lose control of his emotions, and Hux reeling from the revelation of what Kylo had been through before they had ever met.

“That’s when the mine accident happened, then?”

“That night, yeah…everyone thought Kylo was to blame…nobody would listen to me. Kylo was the one to call the emergency dispatch for Finn. He said he wasn’t sure what had happened, but he found him out at the mine…We were supposed to have a date night, but we decided to stayed in. He was with me in our cabin when we heard the explosion and the alarms started blaring. I was a volunteer firefighter when I was home on break, so I rushed out. I was gone for…close to 24 hours…there were so few survivors...and…and when I got home, he was gone. He’d grabbed maybe half his stuff…and…It was months later, right before I was due to leave again for the Academy, that Leia told me Han made him go. I…I though he just left me…”

Poe felt a few tears trickle down his cheeks as he looked down at what was left of the drinks Maz had set out for him. Then he felt the slightly clumsy fingers softly brush the tears away. He turned back to find Hux leaning in almost unbearably close. Poe could smell the whiskey on his breath.

“Tell me, Poe, do you cook?” Hux asked, his eyes half lidded as if he meant to be seductive with the question.

Poe was just shocked enough to answer.

“Not to brag, but I happen to be the best cook in town outside of the ones who work at Jabba’s Palace.”

Delicate hands cupped his face. Thin thumbs brushed his cheekbones. This was dangerous…Hux was 5 or 6 drinks in, and he was dangerously close to kissing him. And Poe was afraid that he might just let him. But Poe wouldn’t let himself do something that could hurt Kylo in such a way.

“You see? Kylo would never have left somebody who could keep him so well fed…”

Hux started to close the distance between them, but Poe placed a firm hand on his chest and pushed him back into his stool. He stayed close, as the redhead refused to let go of his face and hair, and tried to hold him steady.

“Hux, I’m flattered. I really am, but…you’re with Kylo…”

“I’m aware…You know, I’ve only been talking with you for half an hour, but I can see exactly why he’s in love with you.”

“But he’s not. He’s in love with you. He…I went to find him. It had been six months. Snoke…he’d been arrested; the investigation into the mine ended up revealing one dark secret after another on him. I knew if I could convince Kylo to give evidence against him the whole case against him would be closed. It took some time for me to track him down; he’d transferred to one of the other branches of the First Order.

“I showed up on his door step…and at first it was…amazing. He pulled me inside and we made love against the door. I suppose I should say we fucked against the door knowing what happened…but it felt like…love. We moved to the couch, and he asked me why I was there…and I told him. The color drained from his face and the next thing I knew…he was screaming at me, throwing my clothes at me…telling me what a mistake I had been…telling me…telling me he didn’t love me, he never had.”

“But why would he do that? You’re perfect.”

“Hux…listen to yourself. You’re drunk. You wouldn’t even be talking to me right now if it weren’t for learning about Kylo’s past.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing we have him in common.”

Hux leaned in again, but Poe pressed him back again.

“Please, don’t!” he pleaded.

“Why not?”

“Because as soon as I fix your car, you and he are going to leave and never come back, and I’ll be left trying to get over both of you instead of just him.”

That seemed to make Hux come to his senses. At least he leaned back and sat a little straighter on his bar stool.

“Perhaps you’re right…”

Poe was relieved, but he could tell Hux hadn’t voiced his whole thought.

“I sense a ‘but’ there,” he said as he returned to his own bar stool.

“How very astute of you,” he eyed Poe keenly. “I can’t help thinking that Kylo needs to at least try to make amends here and stop running from his past.”

“Kind of difficult to do if you’re only in town for a few hours.”

“My thought’s exactly. And here’s what I propose as a solution: You’re going to show me how to fix my car.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You told me that it would take more time than a few hours to show me how to do it. We’ll tell Kylo that we’re missing a critical part necessary to make the proper adjustments, which means we will have to stay until at least Sunday depending on when the delivery comes in.”

“But your friend’s wedding?”

“Phasma is one of my oldest and dearest friends. She will understand if we have extenuating circumstances causing us to stay here instead of making it to her wedding.”

“What about Kylo?”

“We will have to convince him that reconciling with his family is the right thing to do, of course.”

“If he’s anything like I remember it won’t be an easy thing to do. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“I’m a Professor in English and Literature. I lecture daily. I regularly have to convince my students that my syllabi is not too difficult to handle, the assignments aren’t beyond them, and that they did, in fact, deserve the D- grade I gave them on their last essay. And I do it with an almost alarming rate of success. I can handle talking my boyfriend into staying and reconciling with his family.” Poe watched as he pulled out his phone with a bit of flair. “Also, I won’t be doing this alone. You will be there with me.”

Poe nearly fell off his chair when he jumped back in shock.

“Now, Hux, I don’t know-“

“Nonsense!” he interrupted. “If Kylo is here reconciling with his past, which you are an enormous part of, you will need to be there. “

“But I don’t-“

Hux interrupted him again. “Do not argue with me. I know what I am talking about. You need to have a conversation with him.”

“You’re a bossy ginger, aren’t you?” Poe said with a grudging, yet respectful, smile.

“You have no idea, but I am certain you will find out this weekend.”

“Okay, we do this as a team.”

Hux grinned at him. Poe watched as the ginger engaged his phone and quickly dialed a number.  It rang twice before the person on the other end answered.

“Phas, Darling, bad luck! The mechanic has informed me there is a part that will need to be ordered. It appears Kylo and I will be stuck here for the weekend…Don’t be ridiculous, Darling, I couldn’t ask you to do that…because somebody would have to drive us back here afterwards…For my car...Honestly, Doll, it will be fine. Kylo and I will send our lovely present when you return from the honeymoon, and we’ll treat you to a lovely evening of dinner and dancing…I’m so sorry, dear! I love you, bye!”

“I’m impressed!” Poe said as Hux ended the call. “You just lied your ass off to somebody you claimed is one of your oldest and dearest friends.”

Hux smirked at him.

“I’m doing it for Kylo. I’m normally not one who lies, but I’ll do anything for that man. Plus, I fully intend to tell Phasma the truth when we get home. I’m certain she’ll understand and forgive us. I just didn’t want her to be bothered while her wedding is going on.”

“I guess that’s understandable,” Poe shrugged. Then he pulled out his wallet, pulled out a $100 bill and left it on the bar. “Let’s go.”

He stood and turned towards the door, but Hux just blinked at him.

“What?” Poe asked.

“First, you are not paying for my drinks. Second, you have a drink and a half left of…what is that you’re drinking again?”

“Well I just did, and, ah…” Poe felt his cheeks color at the question. “It’s a Sloe Screw against the Wall.”

Hux grinned wickedly at him.

“Is that a preference, or an invitation for tonight?”

Poe sighed. He should have stopped Hux drinking earlier. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he answered.

“It’s a Sloe Gin, a Screwdriver, and a Harvey Wallbanger.”

“And you’re leaving half of that?”

“Because we want to help Kylo…we should get back.”

“Right you are!” Hux enthused as he tried to stand up.

He squawked as he nearly stumbled to the floor, but Poe had an arm around his waist and held him steady.

“You’ll wrap your arm around me and hold me close, but you won’t allow me to kiss you?” Hux inquired, once again dangerously close to Poe.

“You’re not exactly sober, Hux. Sober up. If you still want to kiss me we’ll talk about it then.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo tell's his side of the story: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up this chapter and the next one are a bit distressing. Kylo is recalling what happened to him. As it says in the tags; Snoke is an evil dick!

Kylo heard somebody shuffling up the stairs to the apartment. As much as he enjoyed hiding in Poe’s bedroom with BB purring on him, he figured it wouldn’t be the best thing for him to be found in there. Not by Hux, nor by Poe…nor Rey.

Of course getting BB to move was another issue all together. The cat seemed utterly certain that Kylo’s chest was the only place he should ever be. Even when he tried to pull him off the cat dug his claws into Kylo’s shirt. Even after he sat up, the cat just clung to him. He huffed a sigh and somehow managed to stand up holding the cat to his chest.

BB purred happily.

Kylo tried to deposit the cat onto Poe’s bed with the pillow he’d been using, but BB attempted to climb onto his shoulders and back.

“Look, BB, if it’s Hux, you don’t want to be there,” Kylo explained to the cat as he exited the bedroom. “He’s angry. I…I’ve lied to him about…so much. And he found out about Poe. That’s not even the biggest lie I told.”

The cat meowed sympathetically and snuggled closer.

“I’ll be lucky if he lets me leave with him. I doubt he’ll…ever forgive me.”

He sat on the couch in the living room as the door to the apartment opened. Kylo didn’t turn to look, he was still trying to get the cat to settle somewhere other than his chest and shoulders. He managed to get him turned so they were face to face with BB’s tail down.

Hux came around the couch and pulled one of the table chairs so he could sit right in front of Kylo. He actually slumped at first, but was quick to right himself because he was there to get down to business.

Kylo was terrified.

Hux’s eyes focused on him momentarily then moved down to take in the furry abomination that had attached himself to Kylo’s chest.

“Who is this beautiful creature?” Hux asked as he reached out to scratch behind the cat’s ear.

“Uh…it’s BB, Poe’s cat.”

His boyfriend gently pulled the cat off his chest, and to Kylo’s surprise BB went willingly. At once the cat curled up on his lap and began to purr.

“Hmmm, I think my Millicent would love you…” he cooed down to the cat before he looked back up to Kylo.

“Hux…please, let me explain about the Poe thing,” Kylo pled.

“I will, but I think there’s more to explain than your feelings for Poe.” Hux paused, and Kylo swallowed as his eyes were drawn down to clever fingers scratching BB’s head. “You see, I had the unexpected fortune of meeting an older gentleman who turned out to be your Uncle Luke, and between he and Poe I learned a lot about your past. Things that should have been told to me by you, and I’m wondering if perhaps you would take the chance to come clean with me now.”

He was afraid something like that would happen.

“Hux... Armitage… I… I don’t know where to start.”

“Why don’t you start with Mr. Snoke?”

Kylo gasped and looked away, unable to meet Hux’s gaze any longer. Trust Luke to spill the beans to his boyfriend about the biggest mistake of his young life: the man he had trusted so blindly as a friend and mentor, who ended up using him for his own personal gain knowing it would only ever be traced to his young protégé.

“What did they tell you about him?” he asked quietly.

“Enough to know I need _you_ to tell me about him, but it doesn’t matter what they said right now. I want to hear what you have to say about it.”

Kylo chewed on his lower lip as he considered what he would even say. Snoke was somebody he had never intended to tell Hux about; not only because he wasn’t proud of that part of his life, but because of the fear of what could possibly still happen if he ever broke his silence about Orthon Snoke. It was yet another reason why he hadn’t ever wanted to return to his home town. He knew he would have to face the ghost that had ruined his young life as well as the lives of many of the townsfolk. He’d even been reluctant to tell his psychiatric therapist even though it was the reason he started seeing the doctor. The only reason he felt moderately safe talking to her was because of confidentiality laws.

He heaved a heavy sigh, and swallowed thickly. He wanted to tell Hux a very abridged version of the story, but knowing his uncle’s ability to spill the beans he would have to tell the whole thing.

“It was the summer between tenth and eleventh grades. Mom was off being a Senator Organa, and dad was on one of his business trips to smuggle something in or out of the country. Poe was a year ahead of me and was working on his application to the US Naval Academy, so he was busy scheduling his ACTs and SATs as well working on his applications for Nomination. I was sixteen and lonely, so Uncle Luke suggested I get a job.

“I had been to a few places in town when I met Snoke in the lobby of the Grand Coruscant Hotel. He approached me and asked what a brilliant and talented young man like me was doing trying to get a job doing housekeeping or cleaning the pool at the only hotel in town. I asked him what he knew about me, and he told me he’d known my Grandfather, and that he wanted to meet the family of his good friend. I didn’t question that Grandpa never mentioned him, there were quite a bit he didn’t mention from his time as a monk. 

“Snoke ended up taking me to lunch at Jabba’s Palace… everyday that week. He seemed honestly interested in me, he told me I had great potential, he told me he could help me do better for myself, and he offered to help me hone my…my skills… I didn’t know what he was planning on really doing to me.”

His breath hitched and he still couldn’t bring himself to look at Hux directly. Instead he focused on the cat resting contently in the man’s lap and Hux’s clever fingers that continued to stroke and scratch the purring BB.

Kylo shuddered as he forced himself to remember things he’d done his best to move past and forget.

“It had been a couple months before anyone found out…Luke, my parents, Poe. Mom and Dad didn’t really have much of an opinion figuring I could take care of myself. Poe didn’t know who he was, and I think he was a bit relieved that I wasn’t left alone all the time while he was busy. But Luke… he seemed worried. He warned me not to get too close to him, and not to let him get too close to me. Neither of us knew it was already too late.

“I… I didn’t… know… He started doing some strange things, touching my hands and arms, points around my head and neck. I ended up questioning it, I mean he was old and I was a teenager and at that point as far as I could tell he was some creeper who was trying to get me to trust him so he could start molesting me or something. He told me he was an acupressure specialist and if I allowed him to help me with meditation, we could develop my pow-… powers…”

“It’s okay, I know,” Hux said softly as Kylo let the words die out. “Luke told me about your family’s gift. What…what was he doing to you?”

He didn’t like how Hux sounded. It was as if he already knew or made the assumption that there was more to it than just a man with an unusual tendency to touch everyone like some did in foreign cultures. He chanced a glance up at Hux’s eyes and he wasn’t sure just what he read there.

“He… He was conditioning me to his touch, you know? To random touches when I was calm or meditating in front of him. He… I was stupid, foolish, and I trusted him. I thought he was helping me. I wanted control over what I could do so I didn’t just hear what everyone was thinking or see things that happened to them. I wanted to be better in school so I could go somewhere close to Poe. I wanted to be able to help people, but only if they wanted me to help and see things. I didn’t know… It was… It was… school was starting in a week the first time I realized that I lost a couple hours. They were just gone. He told me that meant my meditations were working. He told me I was so at peace with everything that I lost the need for time or something like that.

“I accepted the answer. And I was so uptight about it that it took me weeks to fully relax in his presence again. He kept up with his mantras; working on getting me to block out everything but his voice and the ideals he wanted me to work into my life. He was supposed to be helping me with my control. I didn’t know he… I didn’t know he was taking it away… I didn’t know that he was putting me in hypnotic trances. I didn’t know that was why I was starting to lose chunks of time. And I kept having these bizarre dreams that I was using my power to find where people kept valuables and steal them for Snoke, or that I used it to get information for him so he could bribe people or embezzle money or take properties or companies right out from under the owners.

“He had me traveling with him, especially during breaks from school; time I should have been spending with my family and Poe. Luke was still warning me that I should put some space between Snoke and me. Instead I applied for the school he told me to, much to Poe’s protest and heartbreak it was on the other side of the country. Terrible things kept happening.

“He’d been around for a year and a half. He would go back to his center of business, and the robberies and property damage would stop. It would start again when he’d come back. He had stopped with his mantras by that point, but I was still losing time and having the bizarre dreams…”

“You… you had no idea?”

“Not until I woke up from a dream at the end of March my senior year of high school. I dreamt that I stole an important notice from Bib Fortuna about the ownership of Jabba’s Palace after Mr. Jabba died, and I hid the paper under my jeans in my dresser. It… the dream felt so real, that I got up from my bed and walked over to the dresser. I kept telling myself that I was being stupid, that it was only a dream and I hadn’t stolen the paper, so I laid back down in bed. The fourth time I got to my dresser is when I finally opened the drawer.”

“You found the letter,” Hux sounded resigned.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t just the letter,” he was starting to get upset from his memories. He remembered his therapist saying that talking about it may trigger reactions, but he knew he needed to keep talking and explaining. Hux needed to know all of it. “It was everything that had gone missing during the whole previous month. I had no actual memory of taking any of it, and I knew if I called the police I would be the one arrested. I mean, I was the one with all the stuff hidden in his bedroom. And who the hell was going to believe me when I said that Snoke did something to me so I don’t remember doing a damn thing?

“I confronted him when he came back into town for a few days. At least I tried to. I wasn’t a small kid; I was eighteen and about six foot two by then, I ran track and lifted weights. I was pretty sure I could take Snoke if he came at me, but… when his fingers sunk into certain spots, the ones I didn’t realize he’d been conditioning for a desired reaction, my whole body seemed to go limp and I was down on my knees before I knew what was happening. He hissed, ‘You’ll never be able to fight me off boy.’ Then I went completely under.

“Th-that…that w-was the f-first night he h-had me bu-burn s-someone’s house.”

Kylo suddenly found himself crying almost to the point of sobbing. He felt so weak and worthless talking about it, but nobody had ever told him how to fight of somebody who had complete control over him. He hadn’t cried about it in years, but reliving it for Hux made it all sharp and fresh again, and he mourned for the boy who had trusted a stranger so blindly.

He hadn’t noticed his boyfriend had moved until he felt the couch dip next to him. Then there was the firm grip on his arm and paws pressing on his legs. Apparently BB wanted to offer his comfort, too.

“I tried, you know?” He started again, his voice torn up with the emotions he was feeling. “I tried to fight after that, but he… there were words he could say, places he could touch, that would render me helpless against him. Even being aware it would happen, I couldn’t stop it. And if I fought too hard, another place burned.”

“Kylo, be… before you go on... He… he didn’t…” Hux was having trouble getting the words out, but Kylo knew what he was getting at.

“No… At least, not that I have remembered or dreamed about. I don’t think I was ever used for sex. I’m certain _that’s_ only ever been between me and you and Poe.”

Hux squeezed his eyes shut, and let out a sigh of relief. Then he colored a bit at the final comment. Kylo looked at him confused for a few moments.

“Sorry, Ky, go on.”

“Okay… It… it wasn’t long later when Poe found out. He came home during spring break.  My folks were gone for their respective jobs, and he came out to the ranch so we could have a stay-in date night. He was in my room picking out a movie for us to watch while I got food for us from the kitchen, and when I got back in there he had discovered one of my stashes behind my dvds. I… I yelled at him, screamed, really. I accused him of purposely going through my things. I said terrible, horrible things. I…fuck…I think he was about to leave and not come back, and, fuck; I was going to let him just go.

“But before he did, he stopped and asked me what happened and why I had changed.” Kylo stopped and swallowed thickly. “I think he conditioned me not to talk about it because even with my therapist it was difficult, and that was with the guarantee of confidentiality. I broke down, sobbed it out to Poe how I didn’t know what he had done to me, but Snoke was controlling me to do all the terrible things around town. He begged me to talk to somebody, anybody, he begged me to break ties, and he begged me not to go off to the school Snoke forced me to enroll in.

“I knew I couldn’t defy him that much. I just wasn’t strong enough, so I promised to distance myself from him while I was at college.”

“But that didn’t happen?” Hux asked, squeezing his hand.

“No.”

And he started shuddering with sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snoke's first name in this story is Orthon. Orthon was/is a demon known for his ability to posses bodies. I thought it was kind of fitting.
> 
> There's a mention of Poe working on applying to the United States Naval Academy. I did my research and is an eleven (11) step process to be accepted as a student there, and you need to start on your application at least a year before your first school term starts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo tells his side of the story: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again we already know Snoke's a dick. He we find what happened with Finn, and we find out why Kylo ended things with Poe as harshly as he did. 
> 
> Just a warning for more distressing situations discussed.

It took him a while to calm himself down enough to keep up his explanation. Part of what grounded him and what made him feel better was the fact that Hux now gripped his hand. Perhaps that meant he didn’t have to worry about the man leaving him, he seriously hoped so.

He pulled his hand away from where he’d been mindlessly petting BB, and he wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand. He released a shaky sigh, knowing he had much more to explain.

“I… I… Snoke started pressuring me to make a commitment to his company, to move into his work compound. I stayed on campus for the first year, but he was hovering and forcing me to do things. The longer time passed the grander the information and stolen items were, and my support system was mostly nonexistent. I still talked to Poe regularly, but he was on the other side of the country, and mom was a senator and busy lobbying, and dad was constantly gone for work, and Uncle Luke couldn’t come running because he had Aunt Mara and Rey.

“I… I stopped fighting. And that’s when he started to poison my mind against them. He started with my parents...I know they were there more, but suddenly I couldn’t comprehend that anymore. Snoke made me believe that they never came home, and when they did they were always against me. He made me believe they never did anything to help me, and if I tried to contact them they would only ever hold me back. He made me believe they never really cared about me. And honestly I still have trouble remembering what was real and what wasn’t. I just know they were both so busy trying to make things better, but I just…they were never there, especially dad.

“Then he moved on to Uncle Luke. I think he wanted to prevent me from being able to go to Luke to break Snoke’s hold over me. He figured if I were ever to seek help it would be him first since Grandpa was dead and Luke was able to resist his interference right from the start. I don’t know why he thought that would work… I didn’t want to bother Luke, and that’s why I didn’t go to him in the first place.”

“You knew what he was doing to you, why didn’t you do something else to stop it?” Hux asked.

Kylo could tell he was genuinely curios and worried for him, but it didn’t hurt any less to think that Hux didn’t understand how hopeless he’d felt at the time.

“I couldn’t. He had taken everything from me that would have given me the strength to fight him. Except for Poe, but he started on that the beginning of my sophomore year in college. He still hadn’t convinced me to move to his compound, but then he knew he couldn’t until he got me to cut ties with everyone on the outside. And I would never cut ties with Poe.”

“What happened that you did?”

“I’ll… I’ll get to that. He definitely tried to poison my mind against him, but it never took. He wasn’t able to convince me that Poe was a bad influence on my life, even with his hypnotic abilities. He kept at it, but moved on to other points of getting me to cut ties with the outside world. I stopped talking to mom, dad, and Uncle Luke and his family all together. He tried to keep me busy so I couldn’t be in contact with Poe. He still had me doing everything he’d conditioned me to do. Then he convinced me to change my name.

“I called Poe because I was excited. This was going to be a change for the better for me, and I was sure he would be happy for me because of it. Instead he questioned why I would do it, and I… I spouted off everything that Snoke had made me believe about my family. Poe questioned that, too, and he asked me if it had anything to do with Snoke. I lost my temper. I was so mad that he couldn’t be happy for me, and that he figured out what the real reason behind it was even though I was supposed to be separating myself from Snoke. I told him it was none of his business and hung up on him, swearing up and down that I wouldn’t talk to him again if he couldn’t be happy for me.”

He looked over at Hux to see his eyes move to something behind him, but then they were back on Kylo with what he recognized as concern in the gaze.

“It was about two weeks later that I realized it was exactly what Snoke wanted to happen. That he wanted me to not speak to any of them again, especially Poe. That he wanted me to change my name so my family wouldn’t be able to find me when I completely disappeared from their lives, and that I couldn’t be attached to anyone except for him.”

He took a deep shuddering breath.

“I finally went to the police. I couldn’t let him do that to me anymore; I couldn’t let him own me like he was trying to. I got a restraining order, I moved into a secure student housing facility, I started seeing my therapist, I changed my name to something he didn’t know, and near the end of the school year I called my mom and asked her if I could come home. Snoke hadn’t been able to get anywhere near me for two and a half months, if he was seen within 5000 feet of campus he would be arrested. I was starting to feel like my normal self again, something I hadn’t felt in four years.

“I went home, and started working on moving into one of the ranch cabins. Mom was home, and dad would be in a week or two, hopefully for the summer. I apologized to mom for the shit I had done, and I think she knew or at least had an inkling of what I had been through. I still hadn’t talked to Poe, but I thought that was something that needed to happen in person.

“Then one day I was walking through town, and he walked out from the mechanic’s shop downstairs; it was his dad’s at the time. I knew without a doubt in my soul that I wanted to marry him. I ran to him, I think I may have nearly been hit by Maz in her ancient Buick, but I never saw for sure. I asked him, he never answered, but he brought his stuff over to the cabin the next morning. I started getting things together so I could transfer schools, and start fresh with Poe. I did apologize to him, it wasn’t right away, but I figured that’s part of what held him back from saying yes.

“Because nothing seems to ever go right when it comes to me living here, about a month later Snoke showed up saying, ‘I knew you would be too weak to stay away from them.’”

“But the restraining order against him…” Hux sounded shocked.

“It didn’t cross state lines, and he had put four years into grooming me to be his perfect slave. He wasn’t going to just give that up. Poe and I had been on our way to see Kes for lunch, so I told him to go on and that I would deal with Snoke. I don’t think he wanted to let see him alone, but I wasn’t about to let Snoke get in touching distance of Poe.

“He was coming towards me but I told him to stop. I wasn’t about to let him get within arm’s reach of me either.”

“But it wasn’t just touch; he used words, too, didn’t he?”

Kylo swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, but my therapist and I worked very hard together to identify what the trigger words were and desensitized me to them. I had also been working on the touch triggers, but the techniques that worked for the words weren’t as effective on touch.

“We argued. He was furious when the words he usually used to subdue me didn’t work. He told me I would pay for turning my back on him, and that the whole town would pay for turning me against him. I didn’t know if he was actually serious because he didn’t have the control over me, but I agreed to follow him out to the mine. I needed to know what he wanted to do.

“We argued more when we got out there. I made sure he didn’t come near me, though. And he told me… that he would destroy the whole town, starting with the mine, if I didn’t go with him to the compound, and take up the place he designed me for. Then he said when he killed Poe he would make sure Poe knew it was because I was too weak to let him go…

“That’s when Finn showed up. Finn is my cousin Rey’s best friend/boyfriend. At the time he was around eleven. He… He must have seen me with Snoke and followed us to the mine on his bike. I don’t know how long he listened before he jumped out to argue that I couldn’t go with Snoke, that we couldn’t destroy the town. That I should stay home.” Kylo felt the tears start to fall again. “It was all the distraction Snoke needed to get his hands on me, but the pressure and the touch didn’t work like it normally did. I… I made him believe that it did and he was in control of me again.

“And… h-he or-ordered me t-t-to kill Finn. He… he was the b-best k-kid in the world, and I… I had to decide whether I should a-a-attack him, or l-let S-Snoke know he d-d-didn’t have c-c-control over m-m-me and r-risk the f-f-fucking t-t-town.”

“Oh, fuck, Kylo…”

“I…i d-didn’t mmmmean t-t-to hu-hurt himmm l-like I-I-I d-did!” Kylo sobbed. “I…I just... I j-just… I d-didn’t s-see the big r-rock by his bike. Ev-v-verything out th-there is the s-same color of tan gravel. I, f-f-fuck, I wanted to g-get him to b-b-bleed a little and knock him out…make it l-l-look believable.” He looked at Hux, pleading for him to understand what he had tried to do. “But the rock, I threw him and he landed on it. Th-then I hit him a couple mmmmore t-times before I realized, and he…”

Kylo stopped and sobbed again, and took time before he was able to take some steadying breaths so he could continue.

“S-Snoke walked up behind me, laughing. He s-said, ‘They won’t ever want you here again now that you’ve killed a child, will they boy? I want you to dispose of the body, and go about your normal business for the rest of the day. You will meet me outside of Jabba’s Palace tonight at 7pm and we will discuss our next move in regards to the town. When we are done here we will go to the compound, and you will never have to worry about these people getting in our way again.’

“I… I made my voice as empty as I could to answer him, ‘Yes, sir.’ But I thought… he doesn’t have the power over me, he can’t hurt us anymore. I decided to call his bluff, thinking there was nothing he could do without me. He didn’t know this town well enough to do anything without being caught.

“I carefully loaded Finn in my car, and I brought him to the hospital. I told them I found him at the mine and that he must have spun-out and crashed his bike in the gravel out there. The attending nurse didn’t question me further, and promised to call Finn’s adoptive family. Before I left they told me he would survive, but there had been sever damage to his spine and he would probably be crippled. I called Uncle Luke as I left to let him know for Rey’s sake.

“Then I went to find Poe, and he was very relieved to see me. We went back out to the Ranch and we stayed there. The time Snoke told me to meet him past, and Poe and I were relaxing in our cabin, enjoying one of our stay-in date nights. It was amazing lying in bed with him, relaxed and content in our, uh, afterglow. I thought that I was finally free, and I would truly get my life back.

“Then at about ten that night the explosion happened, it shook the whole county, I think. It was maybe fifteen minutes later that Poe’s volunteer firefighter pager went off. The huge explosion had been at the mine. Just like Snoke said; he started with the mine.

“I didn’t want Poe to go incase Snoke was still out there, but he had to. I know he did, I was just afraid something else would happen, and he wouldn’t come home again. He promised to send me updates when he could, and he kissed me goodbye.

“I-I-I was terrified, Snoke had done something I didn’t think was possible, he started to destroy Yavin.  And I knew he’d be coming for me… I knew it was only the first of many disasters that would happen if I didn’t go with him. I didn’t know what to do; I just knew that if I stayed here like I wanted everyone would be in danger, especially Poe.

“I was going to wait until he came home, and I wanted to see if mom could help, but dad showed up.”

Hux closed his eyes. He knew what Han did, Kylo had told him before, and it clearly made him extremely angry. Then he stood up and started to yell.

“That unimaginable asshole! Didn’t he know you needed help?”

“No. He told me I had to leave. I wasn’t welcome in Yavin anymore. Everyone would know that I was somehow responsible for the mine. He told me I was a disgrace to the family, and I no longer had a place with them. He told me to be gone by sun-up… I didn’t even have time to let Poe know what happened.

“But I thought my disappearance would be the only thing that could help save the town from Snoke. If he knew I was gone, and nobody was hiding me, then he would leave. He would stop the attacks on the town… he wouldn’t hurt Poe.”

“But Kylo, you needed help!” Kylo could see Hux was still very agitated. “You needed your family to stand by you, against Snoke. And he... he threw you away! Like you didn’t matter! Like you were a hindrance to him! He should have tried to keep you safe! You had been manipulated and controlled for four years, and neither of your parents were around enough to realize that somebody had preyed upon you! And when you needed them most your dad turned his back on you!”

“I deserved it with everything I did-“

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare say you deserved what your father did to you!” Hux sat down in the chair again, and took Kylo’s face in his hands. “You had no control over what that man did to you. You tried to make sure Finn wouldn’t be badly hurt when he made you attack the boy. Kylo, it’s amazing you’re still alive and as healthy as you are today.”

Kylo closed his eyes and bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. Tears continued to leak out of them. He lifted one hand to clutch onto Hux’s and pressed it harder against his cheek.

“That’s not the end of the story, though… because Snoke was arrested and stood trial for the Alderaan Mine Explosion. It was one of many things he was convicted for. And I know you weren’t involved in the trials because we were together by the time they actually ended up in court. Did you know? That he had even been arrested before you saw the verdict on the news that day?”

He nodded. Then he opened his eyes and immediately looked away from his boyfriend. Hux pulled his hands down, but Kylo clung to the one he had a hold of.

“Poe came for me. I… I thought I was never going to see him again, and he showed up on my doorstep as beautiful as ever. It had been six months, maybe eight, since the mine exploded and all those people died. I forgot… everything… because he… he was there, and I was just so fucking happy to see him. I pulled him in, but we didn’t make it further than the door, and it was amazing and perfect. Eventually we moved over to the couch, and we were just holding each other.

“And I asked him what he was doing there… and he said that he’d been trying to track me down for months. I was still attending FOU, but I had moved into the duplex where we met. I left no trace of Ben Solo, and it took time for Poe to track down the name Kylo Ren. First he told me he wanted me to come home. Then he said that Snoke had been arrested, and he wanted me to testify against him.

“And it all came back like a terrible flood. Why dad had kicked me out. Why I left without a trace. Why I had restraining orders against Snoke. Why I was hiding. Why I actually changed my name. And I knew the second I went home with Poe, and the second Snoke found out I was testifying against him, that somehow, someway, he could come back or send some of his people or something… and end up killing everyone and destroying everything. And he would start with Poe.

“So I did the only thing I could think of that would make Poe leave and not come back. I started screaming at him, and started throwing things at him. I accused him of seducing me to get me to testify. I told him he was a mistake, and that he’d always been a mistake. I... I told him I never loved him. It… It tore my heart out to do it, but if… if it kept him safe I would have done just about anything.”

“What?”

The word was half sobbed behind him, and Kylo turned to see Poe sitting on one of the bar stools near the small breakfast counter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kylo, we’re not going to Denver,” he explained evenly, and Kylo marveled slightly at his lover’s ability to rein in his emotions and resume an act of calm even if he wasn’t feeling that way inside.
> 
> “What do you mean, ‘we’re not going to Denver?’ Phasma is getting married tomorrow. You’re supposed to give her away. How are we not going to Denver?”

“Poe?” Kylo choked out in disbelief.

Clearly he hadn’t realized Poe had come in with Hux, and he wondered if Kylo would have told Hux everything he did if he had been aware of his presence.

“You… You did that to protect me?” Poe gasped as he stood and knocked the stool over in his hurry. He suddenly needed to be at Kylo’s side and stumbled towards him and Hux. He barely noticed the flash of white, ginger, and black that was BB bolting from the noise. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If I had… you would have stayed… I… He destroyed the mine, Poe. If he had found out about you, he wouldn’t have waited to punish me, he would have killed you.”

Kylo was right about that; he would never have left his boyfriend’s side if he had known the outburst and the breaking of his heart was just a ploy to keep him safe and alive. They would have run together if Kylo had told him.

Tears started to pour down his face as it broke his heart all over again because they had lost so many years.

“I thought... I always wondered what I did wrong…”

Poe had come to a stop standing by Kylo’s knees, not exactly sure what he wanted to happen. He was sure he looked like he was waiting for something, and he was: an invitation, a hug, or a push away… something. He glanced down at Hux who looked like wasn’t sure what he should do himself. Poe knew the man only wanted to help Kylo make amends with his past, but he was pretty sure this was exactly what the man wanted to accomplish.

But all thoughts of Hux’s motives went streaking away like the startled BB when he felt Kylo’s large warm hand grab hold of one of his own.

“Nothing, you did nothing wrong. I didn’t know what else to do that would keep you safe from him. I loved you too much to risk him hurting you… I’m so sorry!”

“And now?”

And with the slight tug on his hand Poe was on his knees next to Kylo on the couch.

“I’ll always love you…”

And he threw his arms around Kylo’s neck as Kylo buried one hand in his hair and the other wrapped around his waist to pull him close. He pressed his cheek to his ex’s, both damp from tears, and he couldn’t help shedding a few more being so overwhelmed from having his arms around his Ben, no, his Kylo again. It felt like heaven to be holding him again.

He let out a shuddering breath and pulled back, kissing his cheek as he went. Kylo didn’t let him get too far, though, and he pressed their foreheads together. Something in his gaze told Poe that he was peering into his mind and reading his feelings. He wondered just what Kylo was seeing when they heard a clatter from the kitchen.

“Shoot, Hux,” Kylo murmured as he glanced towards where the redhead had been sitting. “Poe, I…”

“It’s okay, Babe, we’ll talk about this later,” Poe whispered in reply, the old pet name rolling off his tongue like he’d never stopped using it.

Kylo pressed a kiss to his cheek and one to his forehead as he got up and strode to the kitchen. Poe took another deep shuddering breath, and, between the two other men, he wondered if he would be able to live after the weekend was over.

***

He knew he should feel good about it and knew he should be happy for them, but really all he knew at the moment was he wanted another drink. He pushed the chair back a bit and walked to the kitchen in search for bourbon or whiskey or something to take the edge off again.

He couldn’t help feeling like he had just lost his boyfriend because of his stupid insistence that he talk about the past that haunted him. A story that ended with Kylo and Poe wrapped around each other in an almost desperate embrace, and all Hux could think about it was how they looked like they belonged together.

It was just fucking perfect!

He must have been fumbling around and making noise because he heard mumbling, and then somebody stood right behind him.

“Hux?”

And to his utter humiliation, he started to cry as he turned around to face Kylo.

“Well, that’s that fixed, isn’t it? I find out that my boyfriend of eight years is still in love with his ex. And beyond that I find out the reason you’re estranged from your family and this whole fucking town is because some psychopath psychologically tortured you for four years. And to top it all off I decided to make you talk about it, to see if maybe you can mend some bridges with your past because we both know it’s not ever going to happen for me, and it fucking ends up in a heart touching reunion for you and Poe.”

“Hux, come on,” Poe said sympathetically as he walked up behind Kylo placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Tell me, where do I end up in all of this? Where do I fit in to it with all the family drama, the Snoke thing, and the fact that you are very much still in love with him?”

“Hux, don’t you understand?” Kylo stepped up to him, took the glass Hux had found on the counter, and pulled him into his arms. He resisted a bit trying to push his huge boyfriend away, but eventually slumped against him. “You were the first thing I ever had in my life that Snoke didn’t know about. You were the first thing I had that he couldn’t touch or take away from me. I found you, and when I realized that I could keep you and never have to worry about losing you to him, I decided that I was never going to let you go. I only have a few hours here, and I am terrified that I will run into any living member of my family and they will demand I either pay for my crimes or chase me out of town. I don’t know how things between Poe and I will turn out, I mean it’s been eight years, and we are different people than we were back then. But you? I know about, and you will always have a place with me.”

“Don’t question it, Hux,” Poe said with a bit of a smile. “I can tell he loves you, and I don’t see him ever actually letting you go.”

Hux wrapped his arms around Kylo’s waist and pressed closer to him. But he kept eye contact with Poe.

“He loves you like this, but I just... how did he let you go?” he replied, slightly muffled into Kylo’s shoulder.

“Not because I wanted to,” Kylo rumbled.

“Because he had to,” Poe agreed.

Hux reveled in the affection from his boyfriend, it felt warm and wonderful, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the other man standing there. He almost reached out for him to invite him into the embrace, and he felt like he would be inviting Poe into the relationship if he just extended his arm to him.

He turned his face away, breaking the intense gaze between them. He had no idea where the thought of just inviting Poe in came from, Hux barely knew the man. He was generally happy with Kylo, and he was not one to share what he considered rightfully his. Then again, he wasn’t exactly sure Kylo really was rightfully only his anymore. Not with the past he had with Poe.

Hux sighed. He felt wrought and exhausted (and still not entirely sober.) He could only imagine how Kylo must feel having to talk about and relive everything that happened. Or Poe for that matter.  Having the two of them there couldn’t exactly be easy for the pilot.

He peeked back at the shorter man, and once again his gaze was captured so he couldn’t look away. Hux would be lying if he didn’t admit there was something absolutely breathtaking about Poe. There was also something about the man that had drawn him in, more than just his physical beauty, and that had Hux trying to kiss him at the bar. (And he knew that he couldn’t blame the alcohol for it.)

***

Kylo pulled back from Hux a bit, but he kept an arm around him because he could sense the man needed it.

He turned back to Poe, and his heart started to sink. There was something so very hopeful in his eyes, and Kylo knew that eventually he and Hux would have to leave. And he knew when they did it would break Poe’s heart all over again. For a few short minutes everything actually seemed right because he had both of them, and they both loved him.

But reality set in a bit too quickly for his liking. He and Hux would be leaving as soon as the car was fixed, and continue on their way to Phasma’s wedding. For whatever reason, Poe had moved back home, and while he wanted whatever was still there to hopefully develop into more, he was terrified to risk it.

And he was terrified to be back in Yavin himself. If Snoke ever found out he’d reconnected with any of them it would end up in disaster. He just couldn’t risk that; he had to protect them and to do it he had to leave. Not that anyone other than Poe would want to be connected with him. His father proved that pretty effectively. Since no one other than Poe had tried to track him down and get him to come home, he was certain they didn’t want him back either.

The thought of getting Poe to come with them flashed across his mind, and the look on the man’s face made him think it would be possible to convince him. But what would Hux think? He’d been pissed when he discovered Kylo’s feelings in the first place, and he knew his boyfriend wasn’t exactly into polyamory.

No, things would have to stay they were. He would have to leave again without a trace, and he would have to break Poe’s heart all over again.

“I… I suppose we should let you get back to fixing Hux’s car if we’re going to get out of here with enough time to get to Denver and actually get some sleep tonight,” Kylo said quietly.

It hurt to see Poe’s hopeful expression fade before he looked away, and he knew he needed say something that might help ease the disappointment. Before he even opened his mouth Hux pushed back from him and gave him a determined look.

“Kylo, we’re not going to Denver,” he explained evenly, and Kylo marveled slightly at his lover’s ability to rein in his emotions and resume an act of calm even if he wasn’t feeling that way inside.

“What do you mean, ‘we’re not going to Denver?’ Phasma is getting married tomorrow. You’re supposed to give her away. How are we not going to Denver?”

“Poe informed me there was a part missing that is utterly important if we want to drive back home. The earliest the item will be delivered is Sunday afternoon. I called Phasma already and explained the situation to her, and while she is disappointed, she also understands. Being that we have a few days, Poe was gracious enough to offer a tutorial on fixing my car. Perhaps you could use the time to contact your family.”

Kylo backed away from Hux and only made it about a step and a half before he ran into the kitchen counter. He quickly looked back and forth between Hux and Poe and felt panic rising.

“Y-you… I… Hux, did you hear a thing I just said about the last time I came home? Snoke destroyed the mine, and everyone blamed me. I can’t…”

“Kylo-“

“No, you don’t understand. They all hate me.”

“Ky, Babe, they don’t hate you,” Poe added quietly.

“If they don’t, why were you the only one who ever tried to come after me?”

It was something that had always bothered him. After Snoke was found guilty and sent to a maximum security federal prison nobody came to him to apologize and bring him back home. It confirmed that Snoke was right about at least one thing; his family hated him.

Then…

“I wasn’t.”

Kylo felt like his stomach dropped out.

“Poe, if somebody else had come to find me to get me to come back here, I’m pretty sure I would remember it happening.” The words spilled out of his mouth quickly, without much thought. He’d had that conversation with himself so many times in the past it wasn’t even funny. “Nobody ever showed up to bring me home.”

Poe swallowed and looked up at him as if he were trying to find the courage to tell him something. For some reason Kylo wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.

“You wouldn’t remember him showing up if he died in a car crash on the way,” Poe said gently. “So no, he wasn’t able to show up to bring you home.”

“But… that can’t… he made me leave… he didn’t want me anymore…”

“He regretted it the second he got home the next morning and you were actually gone. He told me so when he asked me where he could find you. Said he needed to make it right. Said he needed to bring you home again.”

Everything was suddenly at a disconnect, and Kylo was unable to make heads or tails of what he’d just been told.

His father had regretted throwing him away. His father wanted to bring him home. His father died trying to get to him…

He barely felt his knees buckle as his vision paled out to nothing.


End file.
